Wallet Surrendered Tee
$25Victory speech: ready. Wallet: empty. Our hero won the trade war so convincingly that his groceries now qualify as luxury goods. Please direct all questions to the receipt.
Eight colors · S–4XL · Front print
Buy this shirtThe Perfect Patriot
All the
confidence.
None of the
homework.
Big opinions. Bold declarations.
A few details he may have missed.
The facts are still catching up.
The first collection · Taking orders
Remarkably Certain.
Four punchlines. Eight colors.
$25 in every size.
The same big opinions, ready for a bigger front print. Shop the first four shirts from The Perfect Patriot. More shirts are on the way.
We’re taking orders. Shop the first four shirts now, with more shirts on the way.
Pick your shirt below. Choose your color and size on its order page, then pay securely through Fourthwall.
District Designer Tee
$25Why change your platform when you can change the shape of a county? Armed with a marker and a flexible understanding of democracy, he’s giving every voter a voice. Some voices will be in the next district.
Eight colors · S–4XL · Front print
Buy this shirt
Small Government Tee
$25A big believer in small government. Especially when it fits in your pants. Magnifying glass in hand, he’s cutting red tape for a closer look. Privacy apparently falls under unnecessary spending.
Eight colors · S–4XL · Front print
Buy this shirt
Live and Let Live Tee
$25Your cookout has been referred to the Committee on Minding Your Business. Expect one oversized stamp and a very official hamburger. Freedom will resume once he’s comfortable with it.
Eight colors · S–4XL · Front print
Buy this shirtComfort Colors 1717 · Black, Navy, Pepper, Hemp, Denim, Brick, Blue Jean and Ivory · $25 plus shipping. Artwork previews shown. See each product for garment colors, sizing, and delivery details.
Shop the collectionMeet the attitude
He’s got answers.
Don’t ask
questions.
He’s got a big grin, a bigger opinion, and the instructions upside down.
The Perfect Patriot is original character comedy and political satire starring one remarkably certain guy. Big opinions. Cheerful overconfidence. Punchlines that reward a second look.
Look closely. He probably didn’t.
More patriot. Less homework.
See you out there.
The jokes are on TikTok.
The confidence is everywhere.
01 / Wear the punchline
The store
Browse the collection here, then choose a shirt to order. Eight complementary colors. $25 in every size. More shirts are on the way.
Shop the shirts02 / Catch a second lookInstagram
This channel is currently unavailable. Catch the latest character comedy on TikTok.
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